Let's mind our own Business !

Breaking News : I have gained weight !
 

Now please don't ask me how much more cause I have not yet dared to drag my over-sized feet on the scale. That machine is my worst nightmare ever.

It sure does.

Well thanks to everyone and i mean literally everyone who nowadays upon seeing me goes,
:  Timi jhan mottako ?
:  Kina feri mottako ?
:  Katro mottako !

As if i am blind. As if i don't have a mirror at home. As if i cannot feel the extra meat on my already meaty body. Off course i know i have gotten more fatter. And yes, that feeling sucks. That pair-o-jeans getting more tighter than ever sucks. That extra layer on the stomach while sitting down sucks. But what sucks even more is the whole world reminding me about it over and over again. Do you people have nothing else to do or say?

OK, i agree that was rude. But hey, its kinda annoying you know. I mean, at first you teach me that i should stop grouching so much and instead be proud of myself no matter which size i am. And i finally learn to not loathe my voluminous body and start appreciating my curves. But then you come around the second time, slap me with all those harsh comments and make me feel bad about being fat all over again. And then when i start re-whining, you blame me for being too obsessed with my weight issues. I just don't get it. ;(
 
Tell me, what do you expect me to do? How exactly am i supposed to feel about myself? Is it my fault that i love food so much? Is it my fault that i have a medical condition which is also playing its part in helping me get more heavier? Is it also my fault that i don't sweat at all even when I'm working out like crazy?

Well, think whatever you want to. But please keep that for yourself. Cause i am no longer interested to care. I realized you people are never going to let me live in peace. I bet you will surely have something to say even if by chance, i slim down one day. Maybe you will suggest me to eat more or get more toned. Haha.

KUDOS to that Jenn ;)

So from this day onwards, I will happily eat when i want to. I will regret after pigging-out when i have to. I will furiously exercise when i want to. I will feel bad if a piece of clothe doesn't fit when i have to. I will love my big body when i want to. And yes, i will hate this same big body when i have to.  I will do it all myself; for myself. And not to please you.

You mind your own and I'll mind my own.
Yeah, let's mind our own goddamn business !

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

Learning to Decide !

Well thank good old Lord my blog opened. It was just not working and i was starting to freak out of fear that i won't get to lighten my heavy heart. Damn! What a dramatic week that was. A lot of changes. Practical changes which affected me hard. Emotionally. My mind is such a mess right now. 

As i write this, i still lay unsure here on my bed. Thinking much about whether to continue writing or not. Doubting myself if i can digest the feed backs after letting the whole world know about such personal matters. Yes, i am scared. Scared of being judged. Scared of being pointed at. Scared of being gossiped about. And scared of being under-estimated.

But i guess this is me. Timid yet Brave. Weak by nature yet Strong by experiences. Life has taught me a whole lot. And one of the lessons i have learned is to be myself. To tell you the truth, i have never been secretive. Concealing my feelings is something i just cannot do. I have always always been the narrator of my own book. So being just my own self today, let me read out to you yet another chapter of my 'never boring' life.

If you had read my previous post (Sunny Sunday), i bet you sensed how gleeful i sounded. Well i indeed was happily flying on cloud 9. And why wouldn't i? For i had just been offered a new job and here i tell you without hesitation that someone had entered my life too. Times were good. But the sun doesn't always shine, does she? Even the day must give way to the night is also something i have learnt from my Westlife boys.

I started both the new shows i had mentioned. And it went well. But maybe not as good enough, as what i was told when they broke the bad news to me. Yeah, i was thrown out of that girls' show. What a kick they gave me in the head! Oh how difficult it was for me to believe it. Cause it was way unexpected as i loved being a part of that show and was excitedly looking forward for the second part. But little did i knew that the first time was also the very last time. I came home and cried my heart out. The last time i cried was around mid January when Radio Kantipur showed me the way out. It was then i realized i was really hurt. But wait, that was not all the stones they had to throw at me. They also told me that the love show i did was not so impressive and that i would be allowed only one last go to prove myself. Suddenly, it was like i was forced to doubt my own self. Having cold feet, i conversed with myself; 'Maybe the studio is not my place, maybe the microphone is not my thing.' Not even a proper week of starting my work there and i was already being threatened of getting fired. Plus having the thought of being kicked out from 2 big media houses in such a short period of time, off course my heart was throbbing.
 
When we are the mind, our friends are our heart. And when we are the heart, our friends are our mind. Meaning they help us think from another equally important perspective when we tend to use only one in certain situations. That afternoon, when my heart was in full control, a friend came to my rescue. At first I made her listen to whatever pain i had to cry and then she gave me a piece of her mind. She re-assured me that i am a good RJ with a good voice. That felt nice. :) She further advised me that i don't necessarily have to work with people who doesn't appreciate my work. Her soft scoldings were a blessing in disguise. Cause she made me realize that it was not only my fault that i didn't live up to their expectations, but also (mainly) their fault for treating me like trash. Off course they knew exactly how good or bad i was when they took me in. So how could they have simply judged me on the very first show and tell me that i am not up to par for their radio. That is so so wrong. If they were not that sure of my capability, they shouldn't have hired me (without auditioning) in the first place itself. Or they could also have trained me a bit before giving me the freedom to go live on air.

Hurt, insulted and disrespected to the core! That was how i was feeling. My friend told me to give my best shot for the last chance that i was offered and i was willing to do it too. But after torturing my brain with non-stop questions and answers for days, i finally came to the conclusion that i won't. Cause i knew that they would again be judging me critically and finally fire me for real, for it was certain that my presentation was not going to be any better in just a few days time. But more then that, i figured out i had nothing more to prove to them. Even if i were to have done justice to that last chance, i had a strong feeling i was never going to be as happy as i was there before all this happened. So finally with a heavy heart, i resigned. And i say 'heavy' cause i was upset with the decision i 'had' to make. I had happily thought that i was there to stay. I was wrong.

I have no idea if what i did was right or not. And i also know that to some of you, it might have sounded like i gave up without trying. But i do not regret my decision. I just followed my instincts which was telling me that neither i deserved to be in that place, nor that place deserved to have me. For now, i am content working in that same old place where there are people who wants me and who appreciates my work. :)
 

Which is exactly what i did..

And so, that was half the story of this particular chapter. I bet you must be waiting for me to tell you the other half. Well, to cut it short, i had started talking with this guy who i knew was into me. And i won't say that i was not interested in him too. I was. In fact, after a long long gap, i was finally starting to feel for someone. Everything was going good. But it didn't take me much time to notice that after knowing I'd started to like him too, he changed his ways. In simple words, he had already started taking me for granted. The tables had turned. He even confessed that he was confused about me when i questioned him. Well, if i still had been 'the old me', i'm pretty sure i would have stayed there loving him even more and begging him to love me too. But luckily, experiences have changed me. He was not sure about me, and so i chose to let him go. Like that career decision, this one also made me sad as i had hoped of brighter things. But i definitely did not cry over it for it was neither his fault, nor mine. He was just not my Mr. Right ! 

American writer and philosopher Elbert Hubbard once said, “It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires a great deal of strength to decide what to do.”  Sure none of those two decisions i had to make was easy. Cause it was very out of the blue. There i was happily basking under the sun and with a sudden swift, rainstorms left me all drenched. But i managed to get up, go inside and wipe myself all dry again.

Even though it was very short lived, i enjoyed the warmth. Looking back, i do not regret joining this Radio and i certainly do not regret meeting him too. I don't even have any complaints. For each has taught me a lesson. I guess some things are just not meant to be.

Instead i would like to show my gratitude. To my friend for helping me see from a clearer view and for being there for me like an old friend even though it has not even been much since we got to know each other. Thanks girl. :) To my brother come boss for taking me in, letting me get the experience and for making me realize my own worth. I hope you don't misunderstand me about my mixed emotions I've expressed here. :) And finally to Mr. Wrong for being completely honest with me. I really appreciate the fact that you stopped me from falling in love with you. :)

True that !

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

Lessons of Life

When we are young, our thoughts are innocent. We think life is always that easy and always that pretty. But as we grow older, we slowly come to know that life does not always go our way. We realize that it's a tough world out there with people and situations always trying to pull us down. And while we learn that we should stand strong no matter what, we eventually also come to that point whereby it aches to keep standing still. And when we can't control that pain, we fall. But sooner or later, we again rise. Cause while we'r in between, we yet again realize that life goes on.

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

Sunny Sunday :D

I guess i am a true Cancerian after all. Oh how much i love to stay at home! :) 

Lying down on my parent's bed, masticating on rich hazelnut chocolates as i write this...

As always the past few days had been so very hectic. And No, i don't even work full time but don't know how i get so caught up here and there. Anyways, college picnic yesterday where i danced my big ass off. LoL. Thanks to Mr. Vodka. ;) And then, straight to work after that. I swear i was so worn off with all that hip shaking, that uncomfortable seat on the bus, and gastric too. But i had to go for it was my first show there. Here i am beaming as i tell you that i have found another job. :D Well, its actually the same thing. I mean, Radio Jockeying. But hey, i am now working at 2 different radio stations. How cool is that !

This one's called RVL, Revolution Radio. - www.rvlradio.com - The first internet radio of Nepal, if i'm right. And I've got 2 shows here. The one we started last night is called 'Girls on Top' where we (me and my co-host Chari) talk about all girly stuffs from Manicures to Mothering, Guys to Gazillions, Ointments to Orgasms and Bangles to Brazilians. Ladies, come gossip with us every Saturdays from 9-11pm. Well, you 'guys' can listen too, but at your very own risk. ;) And i will be starting the other show from this Wednesday 7-9am. It will but off course be about L.O.V.E - Love. Typical me i know !

So that's pretty much the only new thing that's been happening right now. Well, actually there is another thing as well. Something which has played much bigger a part than this new job in making me blush blush. But let me better wait for the perfect time to share that with you all. All i know is that Life's good ATM. :)

A smile from the heart :)

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !

:D

Laughing at Myself

Pathetic .. Stupid .. Lonely ..

Yeah that's how i'm feeling tonight ..

Forgive me so, i am a human too ..

I need affection just like you do ..

Morning Blues...

It is a Tuesday morning. And i'm supposed to feel very good on this particular day of the week. But sigh, i'm not. :( I just hate it when i'm not happy on those days when i have to do my shows. It's tough. Really tough to go on air with a frowning soul. To act as if you have nothing else going on in your mind. To fake a fake smile. 

My make-up for today.

And the thing is that i don't even know what's been eating me up. Guy problem? Nah! Then what? Work problem? Family problem? All of these yet none of these. Maybe or maybe not. Totally pissed off for unknown reasons. Sorry, it's not even PMS. Nothing's working. Songs are not helping. Not even a conversation with a girlfriend. Strangely, not even food !

But yes, this is not the first time. I'v done this a countless number of times and so will i today as well. I will enter the studio, sit in front of the microphone, clear my throat, take a deep breath, curve my lips, let the intro music play, and i will start. I will talk and talk and talk until i'm all fine. I will pretend until i feel good. Cause believe it or not, that's what i've always learnt to do. To pretend until it feels real.

I know it's quite disappointing to hear all this from someone who is always talking about positive things in life. But you've got to understand that i have my days as well. Days when trying to be optimistic seems totally out of the question. Dark days.

So, today for a change, can you help me feel better instead? I don't know how. Maybe a nice word or two, maybe a big smile? Anything to help me live through the day. Trust me, I've got a long long day ahead. Can't wait to finish my work, get back home and just sleep it off.  -_-

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

Sweet Escape

Take me to a far away land..
Place me inside your arms..
Make me forget everything..

Let me close my eyes and just breathe..

Whoever you are...

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D  

Wedding Bells ??

And suddenly all my (same aged) girlfriends are getting married one by one. Just came to know that one more tied the knot a week ago. This is certainly not the first time i heard this kinda news but maybe 'hers' was so unexpected that it left me dumbstruck. And so here i am asking myself; Are they moving too fast? Or is it that i am moving slow?

To remind you, i am 21 soon to be 22 years old. And at this age in our country, it's normal, or better perceived, the right age for a girl to marry. As soon as a girl bids 'Adieu' to her teen days, parents start to think and actually worry about finding a suitable life partner for her. So does that mean my time has come too?

Well, i don't think so. Why? Cause i am so so soo not ready to settle down. But the irony here is that i was ready a couple of years back instead. I was in madly in love with an already independent man and i just wasn't getting through with my A-Level examinations. So marriage with him was like the only hope and dream i had. Sounds terribly pathetic i know. Yeah, i was that typical Nepali girl. But off course, we never made that move. As heartbroken as i was that time, looking back now, i'm very much thankful to him for disagreeing. :)

The year 2011 arrived very dramatically, as in a good way. We went our own separate ways and as he left, i would like to assume that he took away with him the black clouds that was floating above my head. I finally passed my papers (big big relief) and the next thing i knew, i was in a new classroom with my 'then' stranger classmates. And it was not only my education, but also my career that took a kick start. I started working full time as a marketing executive for a classified paper. And slowly came the Radio thingy as well. All at once, Life 'unexpectedly' got busy. Early morning classes from 7 and straight to work after that, i always reached home only after the sun went down.

At this point, you must be thinking why the hell am i telling you my love/life story when it's actually my views on marriage that i'm supposed to share about. Well, simply because it is related. What i'm trying to say is that the moment i re-started my life, something was changing inside of me; My thoughts. Something was growing inside of me; Independence !

I was no more the naive girl i was. My aim in Life was not anymore only about finding the perfect guy, being in love and having a happy family with him. I mean i would obviously still want that, but not any soon. Cause as for now, i am happy with what Life has been presenting me with. I am not a studious person but i want to complete my studies for 2 important reasons. One- To make my parents (esp my dad) happy, satisfied and proud of me. Only i know how much he wants to see me graduate. I'm too lazy but i will. After all, i can do at least that much for him since he has done literally everything for me. And Two- Common, if i don't have a certificate in my file, whichever company will hire me?

So the thing is, i want to work. I believe i still have a lot of things to do regarding my countless number of interests. To name a few important ones, work in the print media (preferably a magazine company), open up a plus-size clothing store for women in Kathmandu, have a small bakery shop (cute little cupcakes), and hopefully, one day in the future, launch a magazine to proudly call my own. :)

And here, you might say, all that can also be done after marriage. True that. I know all those dreams does not come easy, and for sure, not so soon. But till then, i can at least get skillfully prepared for it. I can work on my writing/editing/creative skills, learn to bake, gather more information about the clothing business, etc. All that before getting married, please!

Cause marriage, i believe comes with a hell lot of responsibilities. It is a huge step that is dangerous enough to interfere and change all your goals. Cause once we are tied, it is not only ours but also about our better half's feelings and dreams too. It scares me to even imagine coping with my studies and work while being a wife/mother/daughter-in-law at the same time. And another reason why i want to stand on my own feet before standing together with another pair of feet is because no one can be trusted. I don't want to be that woman who cries helplessly for help if in any case the husband leaves or dies. Touch-Wood !

So thus, i am definitely not ready to get married. Hopefully not until i reach 25. And i say 'hopefully' because Life is uncertain. Everything has already been planned by Him, if you know who i mean. Who knows, maybe my marriage has already been written for this year? No one knows, not even me myself. And yeah, my soul-mate blissfully entering my life before i expect him to might also make me change my mind. Like i said, who knows?

To all those who asks me that typical question upon knowing the fact that both my sisters are married, i don't think you will get to hear the wedding bells pretty soon. ;)

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

Let It Go, Laugh It Off. :D

To Laugh. It is probably the most important thing in a person.
- Audrey Hepburn

And when you have a rainbow deep down in your heart, your smile will always shine bright !

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

That Brave Man !

Love takes courage. And to love me, it takes even much more courage. 
Cause i'm clingy, super-sensitive, attention seeking, have mood swings every now and then;

And also cause i love too much. So much that it scares men away.

But then, i'm glad all those 'cowards' ran away from me.
Cause they definitely didn't deserve all that love.

And now, i am more than happy to wait for that one man who will dare to love me the pathetic way i am. 

That one man who will understand the fact that i cling on because i don't want to lose him.
That one man who will think twice before saying something hurtful to me. 
That one man who will give me so much of attention that i won't even have to seek for it.

That one man who will tolerate my moods as it comes.
And that one man who will appreciate my love instead of taking it for granted.

That Brave Man !

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

Celebrating Womanhood!

And as i had expected you to expect, here i am with my ecstatic thoughts on Women's Day. :)

But before that, i would like to share something i'd posted on my Facebook notes exactly a year back.

JAY NAARI !!

by Pretty Limbu on Tuesday, March 8, 2011 at 12:50am 

Do bear with me, my girls… for i don’t know what i’m about to write… and i don’t even have a rough sketch in my mind… all i know is that i want to write cause i’m happy as it’s women’s day... yippee !! :) i’d been waiting excitedly all week for this day, March 8th... but it’s not like what you’re thinking… i mean i’ve got no special plans for today… i’m just happy… hehe… though it’s super-duper unfair that we get only 1 and ‘they’ get 364,, but then who cares ?? neither do they celebrate nor appreciate even a single day… we at least do ;) 

I just counted… it's 19… the number of “March 8th” that has gone by since i was born... and sadly, i never did anything on those days... which i'm sure you also didn't :p… well, no worries... it's fine, let's just excuse ourselves... cause we were girls back then and now, a woman (waaaahh) :D ... but as said that it's never too late, i'm glad it struck my mind this time... i realized we shouldn't just let this special day pass by simply wishing each other; Happy Women's Day !! 

So, why don't we do something different this year and every year from now on… anything but at least something... and please, get that boring ideas about organizing rally’s and campaigns’ off your mind... i wasn't thinking about that... but frankly speaking, i also don't know what to do today... hahaha... wait let me think for a while... uhhhmmmmm...

After ?? minutes and several gulps of h2O, i'v managed to plant a few ideas in my mind... thank god !! 

Well, let’s meet up with our girlfriends/sisters/mother/daughters/aunties/granny... (anyone but a female... it's mandatory) and do some wild stuffs together... like, wink at a random guy on the street, go to clothing stores and try as many but come out buying nothing, ordering our hatest food in the restaurant, sneak into a public gents washroom and scare them, dance for a few seconds in the middle of a busy road, go for a new look (mushroom cut; blue dyed hair maybe :P)… blah blah blah…

But naaah, it’s not like we 'HAVE' to be crazy crazy... we can also get together and do normal stuffs like gossiping and backbiting (about only men today please), dressing up - making up - clicking photos, cooking and gobbling up (momo :p), prank calls and irritate the person on the other line… well, just all those things that we girls normally do together on any other given day… ;)

And off course, there may be some of you who falls in my boat… i mean no money, no time and no permission… :( but so what ?? we can at least do this… (others who’ve already had the fun mentioned up there can also do… lol) we can take a “me” moment and think… appreciate the blessed fact that we were born a girl... that we have the heart to love, care and sacrifice… that we have the strength to carry a baby inside us and give it a life… that we have the power to transform a house into a home… that we have the chance to prove ourselves as a strong woman after all those cruel discrimination and under-estimation… and also appreciate the fact that we can “effortlessly” look beautiful everyday… :)

Let’s show some respect and gratitude to this wonderfully gifted “Women’s Day” !!

Let’s make memories that will make us smile in the future !!
Let’s be happy and proud… that we are WOMEN !! 

:D


It is hard to believe that a year has already gone by. I still remember sitting on my desk at work, pretending to do what was assigned but instead writing this down. Hehe. Well, this year, my emotions are pretty much the same, but only that on a much matured note. Yes, i claim to have mellowed.

I have decided to dedicate this day 08/03/2012, to each and every 'Mother' out there. To all those strong women who have gone through all the unanticipated and the unbearable just to give life to a soul. One word for you ladies, Respect !

I know, and off course you also know that i am not a mother myself. So why this? Being completely honest, Motherhood is something which has never failed to enchant me every single time i start to ponder about it. At first, while growing up, it was the babies. But now it's more about the mothers who have ruled a part of my heart. It all started 4 years back, with my own elder sister giving birth to the first child in our family. Cause only from then, was i able to actually see what being a mother looked like. I will assuredly tell you that a mother looks like, smells like, and feels like Love. Selfless Love. Pure Love.

Don't ask me how much love i have for my two adorable nieces. For i might not be able to answer that in words. The thing that amazes me is that, on certain days when i feel i cannot survive, they are the only ones who gracefully enter my thoughts and gently give me Hope. They whisper to me that Life is Beautiful. And then it hits me real hard. If me, being just an aunt loves them to this extent, then how just much love does their own mother actually feel for them? 

Love :')
My sister and her daughters.

There is a very strong reason as to why i wanted to honor this Women's Day to them Mothers. Let me ask you something. You have many a times come across a person praising another person for their hard work in either their studies or work, haven't you? But think, have you ever seen or heard anyone appreciating a woman for being a mother? I fear not. Cause no one quite sees their hard work, their commitment and their devotion. The practical way i see it, being a mother means having a full time job. Having to work all day and all night for 24 straight hours. But off course without a salary. For heaven's sake, they take full responsibility of another human being, and in many cases, more than just one. The child is nothing without the mother and similarly the mother is everything to her child. Either way, the mother deserves the bow.

But yet the mother keeps mum. She gets tired, she falls down and on given days, she even feels like she can't take it anymore. But then she gets up again. She rises for her child. Cause she truly knows that her child needs her more than anyone else in this world. And that is why i call a mother's love, Selfless love. To put someone else's comfort before her own. Oh that is Love !

And on this special day, I salute all the women in this world. Women who are already mothers, women who are expectant mothers, women who have yet to become mothers and also to those women who (biologically) cannot be mothers. Cause i believe that being born a female, we were blessed. We are gifted with the ability to grant a life and gifted with the power to love altruistically. I couldn't have been more proud.

As i come the the last part of this note, i would like to remember the woman i respect the most. The woman who gave me my heartbeat, the woman who made me a woman. My Mother ! Love you mom. :)

Happy Women's Day 2012 !

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !

:D

I am trying...

I know it has been ages since i last updated. I got busy with my new job.
Oh! By the way, did i mention that i got called in by another radio station? :D

Yeah it has been a month since i started with my new shows at my new workplace, R24 100.6 MHz. And guess what, i am very happy here. Well, it was actually a few of my girlfriends who told me that i looked more happier here than i looked before at my previous one. And i then realized they saw me right. True they say that everything happens for a good reason. :) Anyways if you would like to hear me blabber on air, here is my program schedule.

• Global Countdown - Sundays - 7pm
• Kick-Start - Mondays - 10am
• Raise To Fame - Mondays - 7pm
• Stupid Cupid - Tuesdays - 7pm
• From Me To You - Thursdays - 3pm

It is off course not that i got so engrossed at work that i totally forgot to 'write'. I had tried my hands a week ago. I started an article, but i somehow could not finish it. It is still left half cooked in the pot. Forgive me people, for i am just a beginner. I will but for sure complete that one day. Fingers crossed!

My current read had a page where it was quoted, 'Passion literally means suffering. And it is often the case that the greater the suffering, the deeper the passion.' While that was referred in terms of Love, it hit me hard too in terms of my passion for writing. I am suffering a lot. I always make it a point to read and write at least a few lines every single day. But these days, the more i try to write, the more i fail. But yet again, the more i fail, the more i want to write. Sigh.

Anyways, i hope to get back soon with a new post. 

Women's Day is near. Expect from this young woman. ;)

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

A Love Day !

Phew ! What a day it has been. It's way past midnight and to have to wake up early for college tomorrow, i know i should be in bed by now. But i really want to share this with you all tonight. So i guess i will just endure this exhaustion for a few more hours.

It was about a couple of weeks back when a random thought about how plain this Valentine's Day was 'also' going to be, left me with a keen desire to do something this year. I thought of ways and finally my heart chose to 'love the unloved'. I decided to spread love and smiles to innocent little kids. :) And so with the help of my friends' and my friend's friends, we made a rough plan, chipped in money, did a whole lot of shopping and reached the orphanage early this morning.

Located in Baluwatar, Kathmandu, Aishwarya Children Home was founded by Mrs Nirmala around 6 years ago. There are about 35-40 children living there, ranging from ages five till seventeen. And oh how sweet they are ! Or better described, Disciplined !

Upon entering the room, we were greeted with warm faces that smiled 'Namaste Sir/Miss'. And after a brief conversation, we started with the cooking. I swear i had no idea it would be that difficult to prepare a meal for almost half a hundred people. But it was enjoyable and the environment was just so merry with all that singing and dancing. Then came the most fun part -  Games ! :)

Tug Of War

Musical Chair

Seeing them happy made me much more happier. :)

After the activities, followed the prize distribution, and finally the much awaited lunch. Since it was already 3 in the afternoon, every single person was so famished that it took no time for the 'just served' plate to get empty. Thank goodness, the food turned out yumm. At least better than expected. Haha.

I knew a cake would undoubtedly brighten up a child's face. And so we'd got a big heart shaped strawberry one that read,
'Happy Valentine's Day.' :D

Excitement Overloaded :) 

Dessert brought us closer to the end of the day. Those cute little kids sang a song or two for us which in turn made us blush with shyness as we could not even do that. The most we could do was to give them each a mini goody bag consisting of a pencil, an eraser, a sharpener, a ruler and a few pieces of candy.

The Mini Goody Bag

And finally after capturing all the beautiful memories in a single group picture, we left the orphanage in the evening. As i stepped outside, i told myself that i would visit them again one day; for i have so much more love to give. :)

Cheeeeessseeeeee :D

I have done something good today. I have loved. Off course i know that we do not have to wait for a special day to express our love. But how can we simply let a 'love' day pass by without loving and without being loved? I surely could not have.

Today, i have loved, and i also know that today, i have been loved.
By those beautiful children.

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !

:D

Story of a Big-Sized Girl

I want you to take a look at this first.

Take that !

I was actually searching for random 'FAT' quotes on Google when i came across this one. And boy, it was love at first read. The reason? Well, don't you just love it when someone other is kind enough to write exactly what you'v been wanting and trying to but couldn't?  ;)

Yes, i am Fat. Or in a slightly less harsher word, Overweight! According to www.healthstatus.com, the ideal healthy weight for my 5ft 7in frame should be 143 pounds. But off course, i weigh more than that. And No, don't expect me to reveal those big double digits. I never do. Blame it on those who overrated weights and numbers !

I have always been on the heavy side. As far as i know, i have been that way my whole life. The only time i took a trip around the other side was once when i was a small sick girl and twice when i was a depressed teen girl. So depressed to be thin, i went on a 2 weeks crash diet. Sugar free crackers and plain fiber porridge (the worst food ever) was pretty much the only edible stuffs i survived on. And i won't hide the fact from you that i even cried myself to sleep one evening after watching my family enjoy a sumptuous meal without me, right in front of my blue eyes. Yeah, i had forced myself to that extent. I'm sure you can imagine how desperate i was to lose weight, to look beautiful. My happiness knew no boundaries when my sacrifice paid off. Just like magic, there was suddenly no 'muffin top' when i put on my 'once so tight' pair of jeans. After a whole month of hell, my bathroom scale had announced it loud and clear that i weighed 10 pounds lighter. :D

Little did i knew that 3 years down the line, i would be laughing at my own act. Haha.

I was just 19 then. Not at all smart enough to know that i'd attempted the most unhealthiest way to shed weight. Tragedy struck when the fats slowly started piling back on my body. But i didn't give up. I continued dieting time and again. I even tried every available exercise from yoga to aerobics to kick-boxing to dancing to skipping. It would not work. Even though it did at times, somehow the results never stayed permanently. I would gain it all back even faster. Something just was not right.

But i guess rather than giving excuses, i would put the blame on myself. I so don't have patience, especially at this area. I know it takes time for results to show but my expectations are to that point where i look at my body in detail already on my 2nd/3rd day of diet. And when i see no changes even after a week or two, i give up. That easily ! I wonder how and where all that motivation fades away. And another reason why i know losing weight for me is 'as difficult as nailing jelly to a tree' is because of my love for food. Hands up, i admit i am fat because i eat; a lot ! I can't help it. I am crazy for food. I love eating. My love for food is so abysmal that i sometimes feel i was born just to eat. Eat to live or Live to eat? I am definitely the latter. Eating is my passion.

My family always persuades me to eat everything i want, but in moderation. Not stuff myself, which i tend to do most of the times. It is off course, but a tough thing for me. So i guess maybe only after i learn to balance the relationship of my love for food and my desperateness to lose weight, will i ever find my place in the 'Right Weight' of the health chart.

But more than that, what i have learnt over the years is to love my body. Even though i am the same size as before, i am now more comfortable and confident in my own skin. Unlike in the past, i don't loathe what i see in the mirror these days. I love my curves. And i love how every part is right where it should be. I believe every 'body' is different yet beautiful in their own way. The deal is to love the way you are, no matter  big or small. I have seen girls fussing about their 'Oh-So-Perfect' bodies. I may not be perfect but i am at least way more happier than them. :)

Saying that, i don't mean i will just let myself eat more and welcome those unwanted pounds. Off course i will continue my attempt to get more fitter by eating right and staying active. I shall have to understand the fact that nothing comes easy and that i have to be prepared to fail a thousand times more before reaching my goal. Even if i fall, i shall stand up again and keep walking.

My hidden message here to all the 'not-fat' people out there is, 'Never criticize us'. We may be differ in body size, but we have the same heart size like you do. And you never know when 'karma' might take its course. So even if you do mean good for us, tell us in a nice way. Or don't open your mouth at all. As simple as that !

And for 'my' girls, always remember that we don't have to be skinny to look good. If confident enough, we can also look much sexy with our fleshy fleshy curves. ;)

Got what i meant? ;)

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !

:D