Ooops !

Is it OK to have a crush on someone you're not supposed to?
o.O
 

Me and My Magazine Dreams !

"Don't get fascinated by the pictures alone, read the articles too." I clearly remember my elder sister raising her sharp voice at me as i flipped through the glossy pages of one of those hundreds of thick Cosmopolitan magazines she owned. She was a fervid magazine reader and it didn't came as a surprise when the habit was passed down to me. Initially it was just the glamorous photographs of surprisingly beautiful actresses/models and the stylish apparels that had my eyes glued. But after that day, the articles started getting my attention too. And slowly, this habit turned into a passion. A passion deep enough to make me hear my inner voice declare "Yes, this is what i want to do.'' at the last page of every monthly edition i read. Looking back now, i guess her scoldings were a blessing in disguise. A gift from one sister to another. :)
 

There is no doubt that i am a very lazy girl. (My family would be the first ones to agree on that.) But despite my weakness, i have dared to dream. On many dark nights, I've not let my mind rest for such long hours, sending it to brainstorming mode just to come up with interesting new ideas and concepts for my future project. Yes, i have actually visioned myself launching my own magazine one day. Fingers crossed ! 

And so, with a strong determination to make my desire a content reality, i confidently walked my way into that newly furnished office for the interview. When asked about why i was there, my honesty immediately voiced, ''I am here to learn. This is what I've always wanted to do; where I've always wanted to be.''

And this evening, i got a call with the lady on the other line saying that that i could join WOW (World of Women) Magazine from tomorrow. :) Yes, that is the name of the magazine i will be working for. After a couple of rejections from other print media houses, I'm glad that I finally have a company that believes in me. Now all that i have to do is to repay their kindness by working hard for them. And as for me, i just want to prove it to myself that, ''If i can dream it, i can do it.''

Here's to moving on to the next chapter of my life. To being one step closer to my dreams. And also to hectic days ahead. 

Till my next post, Eat-Pray-Love !
:D

The Final Goodbye

The world outside was smiling Christmas joys. And inside that serene room, was the very first time he took her in his arms so strong and gazed into her eyes so deep. Never had anyone made her feel that special. Never had she felt such warmth on a December evening. That moment froze. And her racing heart skipped a beat, just to tell her that he was 'the one'.

"But if there ever comes a day when we shall have to say our final goodbyes, i will die. Maybe i will continue breathing, but my soul shall be lifeless. Maybe i will have another man in my life, but my heart shall be with you. I will miss you everyday then like i miss you everyday now. You will always be the King of my heart. Know that you are the only one for me."

And that day arrived. As much as it killed her, she finally decided to walk away herself as she could not imagine the broken state of her soul if he were to do the same. Like a coward, she slowly moved forward praying he would come running after and hug her from behind and cry her to stay. In vain went her soft prayers when he stood there watching as she made her way into the darkness, till she could no longer be a burden to his heart-sight.

"I promise that i will get over you and that you will no longer be allowed to rule my heart." This was what she heard herself whisper the day she decided she could not take it any further. His silence was getting more and more louder for her ears to bear. Her hope was shaking. For some reasons, she cursed herself for telling him to leave his world behind and come for her; or stay right where he is and forget that she even existed. With each passing day, she was dying a little more inside and so, to take that risk of either 'here or there' was all that she had left. After all, love is nothing but a risk. To give someone the authority to do whatever s/he wants with our heart. Nurture, Play, Stab, Anything!

But maybe her faith was not as fierce as was her love. She had the courage to devote herself to him. She had the courage to let him decide the fate of their bond. But when it came to waiting for what he had to cease, fear ate her alive. 3 long years of dramatic patience had already worn out her soul. Yet she had managed to persuade herself to hold on one more day, every day. Until she could no longer tolerate the pain. Love defeated; Fear eventually won that day.

Even though she had wrapped this one as 'The Final Goodbye' after hundreds of unsuccessful valedictions, it still seemed to her that their story was not over yet. Because she still missed him crazily under the lovers' night sky. Because she still felt his warm embrace inside the cold cave of her solitude. Because she still found herself penning notes of their tragedy. Because she still played the songs he used to sing for her on repeat, until it bled her heart. Because she still could not dare to erase off his memories. Because she still was searching hard for reasons to believe that this was not the end of their supposed-happily-ever-after. And because a part of her convinced her that he also was miserable without her touch. The part he caressed. True whoever quoted, "Promises are meant to be broken". For he still was the ruler of her heart.  

Although faint, their hope seemed alive. Their love fathomless as ever; maybe even more now. So was this really their final goodbye?